I’m bossy. Hopefully, if you know me personally, you haven’t noticed. As a child, I routinely directed (er, ordered) my siblings and younger cousins around. In high school, I started a drama club and loved being in charge of as many possible details of production that the other kids would let me to get away with. As I grew up, I learned that it’s usually best to keep my opinions to myself, since, as my little sister (the target of most of my bossiness) once said, “No one likes a mean boss-head.”
It always seems so clear to me what others should do. The actress friend who laments never getting called in from her mailings yet still has a black and white headshot. Duh. The hilarious friend who complains of never getting cast in comedies, yet doesn’t list one comedy production, sketch or improv class on his resume. Duh. The cousin who swears he can’t lose weight yet drinks three Mountain Dews a day. Duh.
A few weeks ago, I was in a big-time funk over the state of my acting career. All I’ve ever wanted to be was an actor and I always assumed I’d be farther along by this stage in life. And now that I’m a full-time mom, the time and energy I can devote to my life-long dream is in rather short supply. I now truly understand the phrase, “I don’t even have time to THINK.” So, one morning, during Henry’s short nap time, I made myself do just that–take time to think. And I had an epiphany.
I asked myself, “What would you tell yourself to do if you weren’t, well, you?” My opinions are always so clear when it comes to what others should do next. So I needed to step outside myself and depersonalize the facts of my situation. Framing the question this way completely takes away my excuses.
The answer to the question was clear. There are three very distinct things I’d tell myself to do, if I were bossing someone ELSE around.
1. Keep training. Get in a serious acting class. I’ve been taking a lot of skill-specific courses recently. (improv, voiceover, teleprompter, etc) Time to get back to basics.
2. Go to all those networking events I’ve been meaning to get to but always make excuses not to. Ever since Henry came along, I go to bed at an insanely early hour in order to get up at the crack of dawn (or, shudder, sometimes the middle of the night) with him. That always gave me an excuse not to attend plays at night or go to industry networking events. I decided to suck it up and attended the New York Actor’s Tweetup. I met some cool people, had ONE glass of wine, and was in bed a few hours later than normal. I was exhausted the next day, but it was worth it.
3. Create my own work. Obviously. For years I’ve been talking about writing material for myself. But have I ever actually done it? Nope. Why? Mostly fear of sucking. So in the last month I’ve designated Henry’s morning nap as writing time and churned out a short film and a one-act play. I still fear they suck, but steeled myself and entered the play into a festival.
Only time will tell if my self-imposed bossiness pays off. I’ve got to run. My husband is assembling Henry’s new high chair and I’ve got to boss him around.
JENNIFER
Jennifer Weedon is a new mom and working actress who has appeared in films (The Height of the Sky, A Beautiful Mind), commercials (Coca-Cola, Old Spice), and theatre (Under Milk Wood). She lives in Manhattan with her husband, actor/pianist Evan Palazzo. Visit www.jenniferweedon.com for more info.
Woohoo!!!!! And it was awesome meeting you at the Tweetup, too.