It’s important to have a good mommy. Even if it’s not your biological mommy! Every woman needs someone in their life who is wise, experienced, opinionated, and who provides a good example. I was lucky enough to have a great mommy– she is creative, smart, hilarious, and one of the strongest chicks around! Of course, like any mom, she nags me every other day about who I’m dating. To which, I respond, “You and Daddy have been married for thirty-six years, remain the best of friends, and have provided me with a completely unachievable relationship to model my relationships after! What do you expect?!” So, I asked her to share with the Goddess Circle how she makes a marriage work that long!
Daryn
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What is the answer to a successful marriage? Easy! Marry your best friend, laugh and have girlfriends!!! Having been a “Flower Child Bride” celebrating almost thirty-six years of marriage, I can honestly say I am still in love.
Now, let’s get real, has this always been an easy road? NO WAY JOSE!!! Have we struggled with the highs and lows, financial issues, family issues, sickness and death issues? You bet! I can honestly state that I’ve even worked through the I don’t even like you issues and what am I doing here issues… That is when the girlfriends become really important.
But you must be careful in selecting the “GF”. You want someone you can trust, laugh and cry with. This person must be safe in that you can share the intimate “I don’t like him” part with her and know she won’t hold it against him when you make up. You need a safe venter… A best girlfriend with whom you can add the mustache, glasses and ugly hair to his picture and laugh at this man you are sharing your life with…. And by the way, this is for a best “GF” only — never ever to be shared with your mate!!!
Now, truth is, once we get past all the initial passion, we need to marry our best friend… the person you can be silly with and most definitely laugh with. When I fell in love, I fell blindly in love, but the friendship part became a MUST to survive marriage. Too much goes on to distract, frighten and turn you off. We have had some really tough times but we have definitely learned to rally, communicate and laugh during those “ugly and tunnel of fright times”.
My guy, funny to still say that, is my soul and my best friend who knows me through and through and even when I am not so nice, he still loves me. Neither one of us is perfect and I do understand that. There has to be times when I turn him off…. (NEVER!!!) But we have learned to trust and give each other the space to recover and have the time-out that we need.
So, remember these ingredients to a long and healthy marriage:
1) Friendship
2) Lots of laughter
3) A Goddess Circle
Jill
Jill Allen Strauss is an insurance consultant with over 30 years in the insurance industry. A former president of the NJ National Association of Insurance Women, she is also DCTV Creator Daryn Strauss’s mommy.
